2006/05/21

PS, I Love You

昨晚終於完成了這本差不多五百頁的小說,第一次這麼有心機及愛不釋手地看這樣的英文小說。完成後,竟然有點失落,不是結局問題,而是好像沒有了每晚的寄託。當然,我又開始了另一本她的作品。多謝好友的推介,我好像愛上了這位作家的文字,瘋狂到上互聯網找她的作品資料,原來到目前為止,她只有三本作品。我又發覺自己又開始Mania,當我喜歡上一樣東西時,我又在沉迷下去了。就如我的鋼琴曲一樣。我情願這樣,可以讓我一個人在家享受”自閉”生活,沒辦法,因為,我好像是一個長期病患者了,不知怎的,本以為身體好轉了,但第二天又回復一些病癥,其實都好像沒有太大的壓力,應該不是”stress-induced somatic symptoms”。所以朋友問,我是否失蹤了?不是,只是需要休息及自閉吧!

From Holly Kennedy, which touched me the most:

”......it pissed me off when everyone says time is a healer when at the same time they also say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which really confuses me, because that means that the longer he’s gone the more I want him. I’ll tell her that nothing is healing at all and that every morning I wake up in my empty bed it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds.”

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